gauntletqueen:

pika-memes:

sitcom behavior

fullfrontalfish:

leofwines:

THDI IS FUCKING KILLING MEEEE

This little guy is experiencing Thoughts and Emotions

tricotbf:

my bf: stop roleplaying as a lonely sailor from the 1600s 7 months into his voyage with me

me: all i’m saying is i could be yer lass tonight… if ye be wanting…

imextremelynice:

moki-dokie:

furiousfinnstan:

@stvksn on ig

i hope your god has asked you for mercy and i hope you’ve refused to forgive him

is so insanely powerful. that’s gonna be seared in my brain for a long time. fuck.

amygdalae:

amygdalae:

Very fun things to see in your kitchen when you are high in the night time

jacobtheloofah:

i-was-today-years-old-when:

i learned that there’s a Japanese beetle that when eaten by a frog will haul ass through its digestive system and escape out the back end unscathed (x)

you eat me and i perfectly dodge all of your digestive enzymes and stomach acid and i sprint out your asshole fully intact

pika-memes:

greelin:

saying something you know will make people laugh. And they do laugh.

catmask:

if i told you what rhis sounded ljke i dont think youd believe me so just listen

sacred-portal:

pansyfemme:

meetcute idea: your packer slides down your pant leg and falls out and you’re mortified as hell but a guy picks it up and puts it in his pants instead and runs away reallyfast so you have to chase after him and get ur oenis back

guerrillatech:

greelin:

i am in fact NOT being very brave about it and will whine and complain until i die. As is my right